I am afraid of next Tuesday

I know that November 4th means finally ending this insane and way too long presidential race, but I'm dreading it to a degree I cannot even express.

What if McCain wins? (Obviously, I support Obama) Seriously, I don't know what I will do if McCain wins. Move? Kill Myself? Take an Assassination Vacation (i.e. Drive to D.C. and commit cold-blooded, politically motivated murder of the president. Just kidding NSA and Homeland Security!) Weep...forever?

But on the flip side, what if Obama wins and dosen't fix anything. I think I would be just as upset. Especially after everything Obama supporters have had to endure during this race. Having to listen to people's blatant racism in life and on T.V. screens is just...soul destroying and makes me afraid for and ashamed of this country. 

I've even had to listen to it in my own family. My dad and his two brothers drop the N word like there is nothing wrong with it.  My dad tries to defend himself by saying that black people call white people "Cracker", so why shouldn't he use the word? He also points out that black people call one another the N word, so why shouldn't he be able to? SERIOUSLY?! I repeat, SERIOUSLY?!?!?! My own father and uncles...I am so ashamed that I am related to them that it kind of hurts. I can't help but hate my own dad a little, which is an unpleasant feeling, but having a racist asshole as a father is just...awful. Even my 60 something paternal grandmother is okay with Obama, but after moving back to Alabama from California, my father morphed into the equivalent of a hunting, tobacco-chewing, octagenarian douche bag. Blergh. There aren't even adequate words to express how unpleasant it is.

And old people...Holy crap. Old people in this country just SUCK. They all think Obama is a Muslim. Even if he were, what the fuck does it matter?! There is nothing wrong with Islam. In fact, on paper, it is a better religion than Christianity. Yes, their crazies are more numerous, more motivated, and less lazy than the American Christian crazies, but the fringe is not the whole.

There are also these insane websites that call Obama a homosexual, a crack cocaine user, and possibly a murderer. People read this shit and BELIEVE IT. Seriously?! People who believe everything they read, in my opinion, should just be shot and put out of their misery. There is no point in living if you are that gullible/dumb.

rant rant rant rant rant. Amen.

Politics make me antsy and upset.

Yay for the A!!

I got a straight up 100 on my Cultural Anthropology paper!! The only one in my class too! Ah, to do well in school...It feels good.

I've smoked way too many cigarettes today.

In other news, on Saturday I went to an Obama fundraiser in Tuscaloosa. It was rather subdued as it was mostly comprised of uber-nerds. And I do mean uber. I met a very nice girl named emmie who is a German Studies major, who is currently focused on translating/studying reformation aged works by German authors. She was fucking cool. It's suprising what a hotbed of intellectualism the UA is. While it is largely comprised of drunken fools/coke heads majoring in pre-wed, you'll find some AMAZINGLY smart people. But like...a lot of them. Way more than can be found at UAB. 

My school is like a beakon for either poor people, dumb people, and as of last spring, an INFLUX of trendy hipster boys. The kind that have wavy, almost girl length hair, wear fedoras and skinny jeans, and hip little sneakers with "ironic" tee shirts. 

As of spring semester 07, I hate UAB even more than usual. I am doing better, and I like most of my professors, but the new people fucked it up.

Anywho, back to the fundraiser. The guy who hosted it had the BEST house. It was not too big, and not too small, and fantastically put together. He had interesting books, and every season of Good Eats, not to mention all the extended editions of the Lord of the Rings movies! There were lots of neat conversations, and polite discourse, which frankly, even though I am still a teenager I find utterly refreshing. It fills me with hope for my future. One filled with talks about great works of literature I have yet to read, and the merits of one French New Wave filmaker as opposed to the other. I long to be grown up already. To skip the next few years of my life, and to be about to complete my thesis for my master's degree in Anthropology is where I want to be.

Whatever. One must accept what one has with grace. Hopefully I'll find some.